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The Invisible Man

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The Invisible Man-001:51

The Invisible Man-0

Spitting Image - The Invisible Man

The Invisible Man
is a song from Spitting Image, sung by Thomas King, the Employment Secretary in Margaret Thatcher's Cabinet. Because of the state of employment under Thatcher's rule, King is depicted parodically as "The Invisible Man", and his actual existence comes as a shock to his fellow Cabinet members.

LyricsEdit

(Thomas King) 
I’m never in the papers, 
I’m never on TV.  
Although I’m in the Cabinet,  
You won’t have heard of me.  
Try guessing what my name is…


(The Cabinet)  
(Oh good, a guessing game!)


(Thomas King) 
T.K. are my initials…


(The Cabinet)  
(Um… Tony Kurtis!)


(Thomas King) 
No, no, no! No, Thomas King’s my moniker!


(The Cabinet)  
(Doesn’t ring a bell!)


(Thomas King) 
Employment’s my position!


(The Cabinet)  
(Employment? Bloody hell! 
How do you keep it secret from the public and the press? 
And from your fellow Ministers, too?)


(Thomas King) 
It’s easy! Can’t you guess…? 
I’m the Invisible Man!


(The Cabinet)  
(The In-vis-ib-le Man…)


(Thomas King) 
Come up and see me if you can! 


(The Cabinet)  
(Doo-doo-doo!)


(Thomas King) 
The jobless ask me if I care, 
Well here’s my answer -  
I’m not there!


(Chorus)
Like Arthur Daly’s missus,  
Like Eros Jimmy’s clean, (?)  
Like the missing Falklands logbook…


(Thomas King) 
I never will be seen! 
I’m rare as Haley’s Comet…


(The Cabinet)  
(Yes, we think we get the gist!)


(Thomas King) 
A one-off you could call me…


(Unemployed Men) 
(Yes! A quick one of the wrist!)


(Thomas King) 
Like a British win at Wimbledon, 
Like a nun who likes a grind, 
Like a junkie with some furniture, 
I’m very hard to find!
There’s just a big fat empty space,  
Underneath my hat,  
I’m rarer than a UFO…


(Unemployed Men)
(No UFO, you prat!)


(Thomas King) 
I’m the Invisible Man!


(The Cabinet)  
(He’s In-vis-ib-le Man…)


(Thomas King) 
Do you want to hear my unemployment plan?  
I’m going to take the three-point-nine,  
And give them faces just… like… mine!

MiscellaneousEdit

I was unsure of the lyrics of the line between "Like Arthur Daly’s missus" and "Like the missing Falklands logbook…", so I just transcribed it as I heard it, so its probably wrong! Iif someone could correct this, I'd be mighty greatful!

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